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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Irish Facts Without Wikipedia

I'm not generally a major Twitter fan. There does be some interesting stuff but for the most part, I find it tedious and there is just too much crap! Occasionally though, you find some gems, like today. Rick O'Shea of 2fm started a trend by asking people to post #IrishFactsWithoutWikipedia, basically overly false 'facts' about Ireland. I spotted the trend and clicked through....and promptly nearly fell off my chair laughing. Someone had tweeted Rick suggesting that somebody should post it in a blog as they were too funny not to be published. Things are quiet in work right now so I decided to take it upon myself to transfer some of the ones I found most amusing here. Some of them are proper Irish universal truths, the others are pure hilarious. Enjoy!!

  • If your Granny doesn't light a candle for you before an exam, you're going to fail
  • You must say 'goodbye' at least 3 times at the end of a phone conversation or the phone won't actually hang up
  • Bono can shoot beams made of Tayto crisps out of his wicked uniglasses
  • In Ireland, Father Ted is seen as a hard hitting documentary
  • If you're sick, you don't need a doctor. 7up and toast will do the job
  • Abrakebabra have 2 Michelin stars but don't like to advertise it
  • Jackie Healy Rae is only man to hold the Irish, European and World Combover of the Year titles
  • Not turning off the immersion leads to a fate worse than death (classic)
  • Cork is actually only about half the size of the Phoenix Park but we let them draw it bigger on the map just to keep them quiet
  • If you say 'Gay Byrne' 3 times fast, Uncle Gaybo will appear and give lollipops to everyone in the audience
  • It's an old Irish custom to declare your intent to marry a girl by draping a large raw steak over her face
  • Iceland used to be a county of Ireland before it broke off in 1941. Nobody noticed because of the war
  • We are all fluent Irish speakers but we don't want to get stuck talking to Daithi O Se in a bar
  • Bono can hear a hungry child's tear hit the dust from 100 miles away
  • All toastie specials served in Irish pubs contain molten lava
  • There's no money resting in ANY Irish bank account anymore
  • 'An bhfuil cead agam dul go dti an leithreas?' is the most used phrase in the Irish language
  • Vincent Browne had a successful acting career as Worzel Gummidge
  • In Ireland, it's widely accepted by the Vatican to break Lent on Paddys Day for crisps and chocolate
  • The tallest mountain in the world is actually Muckish in Donegal. It's just lying down, so you can't tell
  • It is compulsary to say 'aahh' after the first sup of tae
  • Members of the Irish Parliament use croissants as emergency sideburns
  • If you die of alcohol poisoning, you're considered a lightweight
  • Contrary to popular belief, Jim Corr wrote the Irish National Anthem
  • Our blood is 90% tea
  • We're obliged to have a pint or 2 at the airport before getting on a plane - even if it's 7 in the morning
  • Red lemonade is the reason we are all mental because the chemicals used to make it are banned in every other country
  • By law, you are only allowed to worship Premier League Foottballers until they put on an England shirt
  • Honda Civics, Subarus and Mitsubishis are not as preferable modes of transport as horses
  • Dublin Zoo is running a captive breeding programme of leprechauns to replace the current government
  • If the perpetual lamp under the Sacred Heart picture goes out, all members of the household die that instant
  • Shortcuts always involve fields
  • St Patrick actually smuggled snakes over by accident, though diligently rectified the problem himself
  • Anne Doyle is completely octopus from the waist down
  • Starving is a word used by the people of Ireland when they haven't eaten for a minimum of 2 hours
  • To be considered truly Irish, the wooden spoon must have been a fundamental element of your childhood
  • The Vikings originally introduced the battered sausage to Ireland in 956 AD as building material for huts
  • The mass decline in population in the mid 1800's was actually caused by a zombie apocalypse
Moral of the Story - Irish people are great craic. Our sense of humour will get us through anything.

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