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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The Dinosaur Prank

Henry enjoying the Falls
Most of you will know my dear friend, Henry Brontasaurus, who has been on many adventures with me. We met in London, went bowling in Bray, had many party nights out in Fitzgeralds and even rubbed shoulders with some famous people at the Radio Nova 1st Birthday Party. It was never a question as to whether or not he would accompany me to Canada. He loved New York; tried his first twinkie, went to Central Park, Times Square, etc. Been to Burlington and Niagara Falls so far in Canada and am looking forward to showing him more of the sights over the next year or two.

I had waited a little while before I introduced him to everyone at the hostel. After all, I was trying to make a good impression on these people and telling anyone about the toy dinosaur that you bring everywhere with you and consider part of your family is a little strange. Although, strangely enough, once most people have met me, they don't find the story that weird at all. But I digress.....

Me, Henry & the Irish Rebels
So, a couple of weeks ago, I brought him down. There was a band called the Irish Rebels playing at the hostel and I figured this would be a perfect time to introduce him. It was all going swimmingly. Everyone was getting in photos with him (including the band!) and we were having a great time. The next morning, I decided that perhaps it would be good for Henry to live at the hostel for a while, get a bit of independence and what not. I placed him on top of the speaker in reception so he could keep an eye on everything that was going on and off I went. I was going for dinner at Gillian's that night and knew that she would like to see him so dropped back to the hostel to pick him up. I couldn't see him on top of the speaker and panicked immediately. The others that were working were taking a look around for him but he was nowhere to be found. I rang Aine, who had been working when I left him there and she said she hadn't noticed whether or not he was still there when she left. I was distraught and do not mind admitting that there was a tear in my eye. Poor Tom, he had to listen to me rant and rave all the way to Gillian's, where I then spent the start of the evening bitching about where my dinosaur might be.

Poor Henry...
Suddenly, I got a friend request on Facebook from a character named Rambo Hunter. The accompanying message stated that 'We have Henry. If you ever want to see your dinosaur again, you better meet all of our demands'  There were also some very distressing photos; Henry in a frying pan, Henry with a butcher's knife to his throat, Henry hanging from his own bow from a light fixture and, my own personal favourite, Henry tied to a chair with a note asking for my help. The demands were as follows; a) $20, half in dollar coins, half in quarters; b) one can of coke; c) bar of Galaxy chocolate; d) bag of Tayto crisps. Now, these dastardly creatures had very cleverly set the deadline before payday as they obviously knew how I would struggle to scrape the necessary demands together. They did not count on the resourcefulness of one James Stafford, as well as my own ability to take things to a new extreme. Hence, the foundation of the Dinosaur Abduction Awareness Organisation and the set up of a silent auction in order to raise the funds necessary, including items such as dinner cooked by Gillian, an arm wrestle with Sally, a voodoo doll made of the hair shaved from Tom's head, among other items. I even managed to get the plight discussed on the radio in Dublin by my dear stalkee Marty Miller on Radio Nova.

Now I wish I could tell you that there was (as was planned by me) a SWAT team assault on the main suspects house in the middle of the night but in the end I didn't deem it appropriate. I was depending on the good nature of the kidnappers that they would not keep me in suspense for too long. What I had not predicted was the power of a nagging girlfriend. Without much evidence (apart from the pure gut instinct that I had), I accused the Scouse trouble maker, Joe Newsham. Despite his protestations, nothing could sway me from my conviction. 2 minutes after the deadline, I sent the following threatening message to Áine 'Look, is Joe gonna give Henry back to me or what?'. Her reply; 'Yes, the fool. He's gonna drop it into the hostel tomorrow before he heads off to New York'.

Moral of the Story - don't leave your dinosaur unprotected around a criminally minded Scouse. And don't worry, when the film rights are purchased, I will ensure to change the ending to something more exciting.

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